The Place of Quarantine – Dimensions

“I could sense her lack of indifference – it was so valuable, so rare!…” – THE PLACE OF QUARANTINE

myqmarkIt was these words that caused something to shift in my mind. I suddenly interrupted her, “Wait, wait” – and turned away, trying to apprehend this microscopic change. Tina looked at me with some alarm; I grinned to calm her, then nodded and said, “I understand you perfectly, better than you think – and, by the way… Please think hard, don’t rush, this is serious: How would you describe the place where this ‘someone’ of yours is located? How would you label this place – or perhaps you might be able to just show it to me?”

“What is there to think hard about?” Tina shrugged. “It’s here, around me – and around again, everywhere.”

“Wait a moment; here’s our world” – I drew an imaginary circle on the table. “And here you are” – I mark a point at its center – “show me where your interlocutor is? To the right, to the left, all around?”

“No,” Tina shook her head, “he’s here” – she made a gesture as if poking through the plane of the table with her finger. “Under the table, above the table and here, a little to one side, if you look in that direction, but the table doesn’t matter; that place always remains with me. Only out there, as I said, there is none of the crowdedness we have here.”

“Amazing…” I muttered, looking at her hand and rubbing my temple. “Amazing and strange, and very precise. You know, I’m working on something; I’m trying to explain how thoughts are born. Both yours and mine – but I’m still unable to tell you in a comprehensible way. It seems I don’t yet understand the most important thing myself.”

The sense of a shift in my mind was still with me; I caught it. I was ready to start formulating it – in solitude, in silence.

Soon we said goodbye. “I’m leaving tomorrow,” I told her. “Maybe we’ll see each other again, who knows.”

“Yes,” she responded to my tone, “as I was saying, the world is such a crowded place…”

For some reason, I couldn’t hold her gaze. “In any case,” I said, looking down at the table, “I believe this ‘symptom’ of yours is not a fantasy or drivel. It is something very real, and you are wonderful – with or without it.”

“Oh, thank you, thank you,” Tina laughed, and it was a strange laugh. Then I looked at her at last and saw in her eyes, deep inside, a very adult confusion and longing. So out of harmony with her lipstick and the bright streak in her hair.

Going to the skytrain station, I muttered in different ways, “Dimensions, dimensions, there are many of them, far more than three…” I wanted to laugh, feeling an incredible burst of energy. In the car, I pressed my forehead against the glass door and looked out at the city, stretching in all directions, the skyscrapers piercing plane after plane. The train made a semicircle, turning toward the Chao Praya River; the monorail bend changed the perspective, altered the geometry – the geometry of the city, the geometry of the world. Bringing together points that had seemed dispersed, like on my fractal curves… I looked through the glass, like an emperor over my domain from the top of a hill. Gradually it became clearer what I needed to do next with the equations and the mysterious field. With the flows that establish balance – the balance of energy, the balance of consciousness.

And suddenly, I was struck by something else, like an electric spark or the overly adult gaze of a teenager. I sensed with every fiber of my body that I didn’t want to, I couldn’t fly away from here – from Bangkok, from Tina. I finally had real allies – maybe for the first time in my life. I could sense their lack of indifference – it was so valuable, so rare! A city full of alien realities; a girl whose life was infinitely distant from mine had suddenly become incredibly close – much closer than snooty Bern and my colleagues, not willing to open their eyes a bit wider…” – THE PLACE OF QUARANTINE

Image credit: Thinking-Silence


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